Is likely a limiting belief.
Some qualities of limiting beliefs:
- They’re often (always?) driven and formed by a previous experience or circumstance
- They’re not helpful to us in the present
- They feel very, very true
- We usually have a battery of evidence, assembled over years, to support the belief
- They’re not easy for us to discern because they feel evident to us, obvious
What are some limiting beliefs? My first coaching mentor, Martha Beck, once said that all limiting beliefs can be boiled down to one of the following:
- I am not (fill in the blank) enough
- Good things are not going to happen for me
- I am all alone
Sometimes limiting beliefs show up wearing one of those neon signs. Other times, they’re more subtle. A smattering of the limiting beliefs that I’ve heard from clients:
- I’m not capable enough for this new role.
- People will think I’m (any number of things).
- The best of my life is behind me.
- They will think I’m foolish.
- I’m going to fail.
- If I assert myself, it won’t be welcome.
- I have to stay with this company.
- I won’t have success.
- I’m the only one who’s underconfident.
As far as I can tell, none of us is immune to limiting beliefs, which know no bounds of success or accomplishment.
Yours truly recently met with her mastermind, a global group of consultants that gathers to share ideas, challenges, review business plans, etc. During the meeting, one of my colleagues suggested that I’ve kind of been playing it small, holding myself back.
The first thought that went through my brain? “But if I get big, I won’t be me.”
As soon as I heard that thought, I knew that I needed to spend some time with it, creating turnarounds, working it loose a bit, ala Byron Katie and The Work.
I share this and other examples with clients when we’re working on their limiting beliefs because I want them to know that it’s not the absence of limiting beliefs that take us to the best of who we can be. It’s the ability to spot them and work them. Which sometimes requires an outside perspective and ear.
As for me, I’m deciding just what “big” means and the shape I want it to take in my life.
In the meantime, be on the lookout for a brand new website that’s about to launch.
And I’m super excited to share it with you.
For more on The Work of Byron Katie, and how to explore your own limiting beliefs go here.
And for a unique opportunity to be bigger and bolder in your own life, professionally and personally: On June 24 + 25 The Legacy on Purpose℠ Private Conference convenes from 9:30am-12:30pm ET.
To register, email me directly:firstname.lastname@example.org If you are bringing 4 or more people from your organization, there is a 10% discount.
Go here for the list of what you can expect at this Private Conference. The virtual room is filling.
Conference fee is $1000 for both days.
On June 14th, the conference price goes up to $1250.
Let’s emerge with impact and intention